I’m so tired and exhausted. I’m worth more than “let’s see where time and life takes us”, and if you aren’t going after what we have right now… I can only give up. For now? Forever? I don’t know anymore. It was an extremely hard decision, which only made me cry as I wrote to you how I felt.
It’s unfortunate because a part of my will always love and hold out for you. Not that I’m not going to live life to the fullest, but in a sense where I know that given the chance, I wouldn’t hesitate. But who is to say that won’t change? This is how I feel in this moment.
Unfortunately, your only condition is that I have to be moved out before there is even another consideration… That could be anywhere up to 2 years down the road.
Life decided to bless me with the most beautiful person and beautiful moments when you walked into mine, and for now, they are taken away. I can only hope for even better ones in the future. I will cherish every moment we had together. I still can’t thank you enough for loving me the way you did. To my grave, I will carry your love, kisses, embrace, and touch. I will never forget how beautiful you made me feel.
And if somehow things don’t work out, your presence lies within. You touched every nook and cranny in my body. You made me feel things I never thought possible. Just know there is a part of me that will never be whole again if you aren’t back in my life.
The next few months will be hard. It’s going to be hard because the aspect of time you’ve put between us is so ambiguous.
Please take care of yourself because I won’t be able to. Don’t work too hard. Sleep well. Eat well.
I could be in a room full of people and still feel lonely because I don’t have you.
- inkskinned, “My father’s recipe for the man I should marry” (via animalist)